My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
