The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
