cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
