if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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