Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
