To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
