Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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