i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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