I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize