haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
