Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
