just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
