Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
