pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
