the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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