its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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