OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
