Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
