How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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