I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize