My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
