I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
