You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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