I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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