At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
