you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
