32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
