its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
