youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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