just tell him i said nine months
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
