I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
