i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
