Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry firstyisafcknfag hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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(703): View more from Virginia

My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

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(678): View more from Georgia

How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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(650): View more from California

Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human

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(864): View more from South Carolina

She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

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(812): View more from Indiana

So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?

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(706): View more from Georgia

It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs

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