Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
