I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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