My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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