This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
