I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize