I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize