Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Still dying that you shit outside
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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