There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
