This is not my ceiling
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
