Your face is a jimmy john
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drake has all the answers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
