Sponge bath it is.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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