everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
