I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
