everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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