I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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