my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
