Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
