If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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