Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
