Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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