I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
