So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Success! We fucked roommates!
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