I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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