and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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