He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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