hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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