i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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