you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
