Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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