I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
