Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
