He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
