whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
