i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Farmville is her only friend.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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