well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
