I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
