Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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