Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
