No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize