hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
