before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was CRYING into my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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