i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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