I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
