from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You are a genius and a whore.
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