so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
